A Personal Reflection

2020 felt like the year time stopped existing…though maybe it has always been this way. It felt like 5 years and 3 minutes simultaneously. I know that I personally felt like I was five different people in the Gregorian calendar year of 2020.

The rate of evolution and shedding of selves had never felt so fierce nor fast (and I’ve done shamanic training and been around the world where you basically shed the whole time.)

The resistance completely changed for me, in that, things that no longer fit fell away without the push / pull that existed in the past…at least personally. It was quite honestly, surprising.

As a part of my reflection process, I decided to make a list of all of the roles I played, the people that I was and what I had shed. Here are just a few of the roles I played this year. What roles did you play?

• Friend

• Caregiver

• Entrepreneur

• Tech Support

• Yoga Teacher

• Guide

When all was said and done, I had listed almost 50 roles. No role was too small for me to recognize. I felt it was important for me to acknowledge and celebrate all of them, as I encourage you to as well. We have come so far in the past year. We have changed so much. And instead of zooming past it, and moving onto the next thing, I hope you will honor all you have been, and all it has cleared to allow you to transmute and evolve as you become your next self.

My takeaway is this. Don’t expect anyone to be the same as they were before or during 2020. (This is one of the many reasons why a return to “normalcy” is not really even possible. It no longer exists, we are creating it anew.) None of us are the same as we were before, none of our systems are the same as before, so many veils have been lifted and will continue to be lifted. Even if you are change resistant, this time has changed you. It’s meant to change you. It’s an initiation.

Whenever the time is right, we will all have to start getting to know each other again. As we are now, as our new selves. And in a way, we are always doing this if you think about it, though we may not acknowledge it. Each time we see a friend or loved one or acquaintance that we haven’t seen or talked to in a while, they are a new person from the last time we saw them. They have evolved and so have we.

We have to honor who we used to be, and who we have become, not only for ourselves, but for each person we meet. We have all experienced something different and every experience is valid. History tells us that we may not know the far reaching effects of this time for decades to come, but I for one, am excited about what this time, and the next few years are clearing space for, what possibilities that we have not yet thought of can be created.

I grieve for what and who has been lost, in the world and in myself. I grieve and I transmute. I use what I have learned to create. I use what I have felt to crack open further. I use the cracks as space for the new to flow in, the new to be imagined and the new to be created. I open and I open again. I soften into the discomfort. I soften into the deep reverent love. I allow.

I hope you will each meet yourselves and each other with kindness when we emerge from the chrysalis into our new state, no matter how long it takes.