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I am grateful for the last decade of my life.

This project has allowed me to reflect in new ways on the cycles of my life which I am grateful for because I am learning and uncovering new connections as I do. Upon this reflection, I have become aware of just how expansive the last decade has been for me. From 30 to 40 has truly been amazing. I mean that in the sense that, I have experienced a lot of life and a lot of the polarities of life in this time, and as a result I have learned an immense amount. I am aware that if the last decade did not play out as it did (both the good and the bad), I would not be who I am right now writing this, and I well, I like this self a lot. Looking at 20 to 30 and even 10 to 20, sure there is also a lot of learning that happened, but more of it was external, or taught to me instead of discerning and learning it for myself from the inside out which is more of what has happened in my 30s. I am grateful for all the decades but especially this one.

My 30s started off with two incredibly opening and activating trips to two opposite ends of the earth, Iceland and New Zealand. It was the first time I experienced how differently light can work on this planet which had a profound effect on me. This was followed pretty quickly with me selling my things, leaving my life, and traveling around the world solo. I’ve written about this a little over on the travel blog, but to be honest I will be integrating those years for the rest of my life. So much happens each day when you are traveling like that that I could write a thousand word blog post each day for the rest of my life and a couple of novel length books and I still wouldn’t even scratch the surface of it. This was followed by a breakup with a guy I was dating that pushed me into some dark corners even though it wasn’t a lengthy association. It was an unexpected catalyst and a very strange time in my life, as I was pushed to examine my deeper psyche in my healing process, which of course let to unrelated/related healing processes that needed to happen. This was closely followed by taking on new leadership roles, teaching roles, work roles, and shedding many skins of habit and ways of being that no longer served me. And of course we end this decade of my life with the pandemic, and all the intense personal non-pandemic things that have happened in the last few years, which I am not going to touch yet in writing because it’s an ongoing experience.

This decade allowed me to heal, learn, explore, expand, try out new jobs, begin to learn boundaries, express myself, get back to my shamanic practice, go deeper with my yoga practice and teaching, get a whole bunch of new certifications and trainings which each changed me in their own way, and probably about nine million other things that I don’t even know yet. It feels like after 36 I became a different person. And of course, without a doubt, in the last three years, I have evolved and changed again. I used to joke that I feel like I change every two years, and now it doesn’t feel like a joke. Even if it cannot be seen from the outside, my entire internal landscape has changed. How I see the world has changed. How I interact with the world and the people in it has changed. It’s not better or worse than before, it’s just different, and I have the last decade to thank for that. I am grateful for all this decade has taught me and will continue to teach me as the lessons unfold.