We are not the same
Posted: May 18, 2023
Before we get into the blog. Take a moment and notice what you think the title of this blog is referring to. What was your initial reaction to reading this title? Take note. Perhaps write it down for further consideration and information after you read this blog.
We are not the same as we once were. It’s ok, it’s not personal. The last three years (and five, eight, ten) have changed us. You, me, all beings.
It’s time we acknowledge this truth, and show ourselves and others compassion and loving kindness for how much has changed and how much we individually and collectively have changed. There is no going back. We start from here, we start where we are, but first we have to know where here is. The liminal, the threshold, the space between.
Humans have always lived in transformational times. This planet is in constant transformation. Nature is in constant transformation. How then could we as a part of this system be and experience anything but?
And yet, it feels like this is different to us because we have never experienced it before from this level of consciousness. We have no way of knowing, truly knowing, how other times like this may have felt for previous humans. Yes we have writings and records, but we can never be in those peoples bodies with their experiences in those time periods to be able to compare. So what we have is our connection to our own bodies and our own wisdom, (which carry lifetimes of information, ours, our recent ancestors, our ancient ancestors, etc)
Check in with your body, your ancient human system. Does this feel different to you? This moment in history? This moment in YOUR history? Or is this just part of being a human at any time in history? A self focused uniqueness that we ascribe to the individual moment in time to unconsciously try to make it more unique and us more singular, special and important? Novel?
Sometimes there is no way to know, and that’s not such a bad thing. It’s a liberation from the thought of having to figure it all out. It is something that can only unfold, as we are always unfolding.
We think we know because the machines in our heads have become so powerful, but mostly it’s a regurgitation of our previous experiences with tweaks here and there. So we have to drop into our other senses, our other information, our hearts, to go deeper, to tap into the imaginal realm, to get new information, to create new experiences.. You know where you find new information? That’s right, the place many fear, the unknown.
We are now unknown (and maybe always have been). To ourselves, to each other, to a new way of being in the world, to creating a new world. We can all guess, assume, speculate and surmise, but no one really knows. (Though many will try to tell you they do) Notice how you feel when you read that? What comes up in your body?
Do you feel like you do know this “new you” that is still unfolding? Are they more unknown than ever? Do you have a sense of them? A feeling that you can’t quite identify? Have you stripped away layers of yourself you never even knew you had? Good. All of it, good. You have started the exploration.
Now that we have discussed this, how we have all changed in the last many years, I invite you to consider those you love in your life. Bring someone specific to mind. Hold them lovingly in your mind's eye and heart (if possible). Now consider how this applies to them. Who are they now? What is unfolding now? What is new and unfolding in your connection? What can you acknowledge about them that once was, but is no longer? How can you do this for yourself? How can you do this for your connection? What is naturally releasing? What is naturally forming? What is present? (If you feel called, you can journal this, or use this as a mental exploration.)
When this contemplation (and that is all it is right now) is complete, I invite you to offer yourself and then this person metta- loving kindness, by repeating in your mind/heart the following statements while holding them in your intention. The overarching intention here is to hold yourself and them in loving kindness knowing we are in the liminal and have all changed. This is holding space for what is in this very moment.
If you are new to the practice, there are many versions. The version I like goes like this -
May you be well
May you be happy and peaceful
May you be free from all danger and suffering
May you be filled with loving kindness
Do this for yourself first using “May I” instead of “May you.”
Once you do it for yourself, you can do it for the person in your contemplation. Pause in between to take a few supporting breaths. Pause after you complete. You can do as many rounds of this as you’d like with as many people as you’d like.
This practice seems simple, and in some ways it is and it isn’t. But it is effective. Surprisingly so sometimes. I offer it here in this way because when we are in the midst of our own changes and transformations, it can be easy to forget that so is everyone else, always. This brings us back to a grounded center of - I am changing, you are changing, we are all changing, and it’s ok. I can choose to honor that in both of us and all of us. We are humans, doing the human thing, and we all need loving kindness as we figure it out in a new world.
You can do this practice as often as you like. There is never a wrong time to use these phrases in your mind and heart. But always remember it has to come inward first before it can go outward.
Note: This is a little bit of a twist on a traditional loving kindness meditation tailored for our times. You can also add phrases to this stanza as there are many versions of loving kindness practice. I use this set of phrases because of their simplicity. For me they are also easier to remember , so it is more likely I will use them.
Fun Facts: The root for liminal is “limen” which means threshold. In other contexts it is related to limit and boundary. I think all these definitions apply here.
As I was looking in my travel files for a picture to accompany this post, I found that I have a lot of pictures of liminal space, thresholds, doorways, and transition points. This was an unexpected and interesting noticing!
Picture Above: This is the entrance to the “Treasury” in Petra, Jordan. The journey to the treasury is a liminal space. You walk down a long canyon for a while with high walls on each side, unsure of where it will lead. The walls are a dark, high, and light obscuring. Until you reach the spot where I took this picture, you can’t imagine it is leading to anything, and then it does. You step out of the canyon and there is a wide open space where you are met with the grandeur of this monument.
